Your McDreamy is not so dreamy after all. You realize that its his hair and not silk..! Its oily and undressed most of the time. You start thinking, “Why can’t he have simple black eyes like me? Why does it have to be brown..!” The same jokes that made you laugh once are just irritating now. His gentle care-giving attitude, although impressive, is annoying you. You are just bored out of your mind to look at the same face every day.
Thus we enter the third phase which has the most cliched name, the reality phase. Its the phase that punctures that wall of idealization that you have been building beforehand. It is when you start thinking whether you really like this person and whether you two could work. You think of your possibilities together and start rating your relationship on a balance of success and failure. If the relationship blossoms, there are greater rewards. Of course, you need to be “uncomfortably” honest with each other to reach there. And the odds are never in your favor. It is said that it is hard to get through this phase.
The next phase is a serious phase and the name itself makes you get serious – the commitment phase. You decide that he or she is the one. You decide what things to do together and what things to do without them. You leave every thought aside and try to think about making this work. You start to unconsciously negotiate. You start hearing things like, “you are clogging my space” or “I need some space please”.
Understood properly, the commitment phase is said to be your last chance to really see what you are getting into. You have gotten away from McDreamy and you know how different you two are. You also know where your wavelengths match. So, its all about setting a balance and reminding yourself about your individual differences. What components of your personality are working and what are troubling can be identified.
And finally we reach the last phase most of us are familiar with – the marriage phase. It is said to be the most troubling relationship phase of all. No wonder you can find lots of jokes on married couples 😉 If you do want to know what goes on in this stage, its very easy really. Don’t think I am gonna ask you to marry. You just need to hear the jokes on them. I am sure you would get a fair idea.
So the next time you find a “happily ever after”, you know what you’re dealing with (I hope).