The Story of a “Happily ever after”-Part 1

You watch a classic. The hero and the heroine lock eyes across the hall and fall in love. They can’t live without each other and decide to get married. They fight the villains and the unsupportive families. Ultimately they get married and live happily ever after.Wow! Such a fairy tale right? So what actually happens in this “happy forever” phase? Well, psychology explains this in stages. So, grab your popcorn and coke to listen to its story.

happily ever after

The first stage is where it all begins-locking of her eyes and his eyes..attraction phase!

From the eyes of a girl– I suddenly observe a tall and handsome man enter the hall. He has a broad chest and a well built body. His hair, brown in color is silky smooth and almost touches his collar bone. His dark locks which make him all the more appealing. His eyes are brown and dreamy and I feel lost in them. He wears a black silk suit and has a golden rose emblazoned on the upper left sleeve. I could look at him all day long.

Yes. The most important factor in the law of attraction is the physical attractiveness of the person.

Also, people are more likely to become friends with people who are close-geographically, relatively, etc. Psychologists call it proximity.

The next two are the common ones-similarity and reciprocity. We look for commonalities in them and see if they reciprocate our liking.

The next phase (which I find as the most interesting phase) is called the honeymoon phase. Don’t be fooled by its name. It has nothing to offer in *those* lines.

The guy and the girl go on a date. Prior date preparations are something like this.

The first thing that crosses a girl’s mind is, “What am I gonna wear???” She spends almost 2 hours of her time trying to find an answer to this question. She tries on dress after dress rejecting the previous one thinking, “I want to look perfect there. And this is not even close”

The guy too tries to look his best, brings his best game on. He tries some good perfumes and deodorants, probably Axe 😉

This entire date would be about showing that you are the best-funny, smart, intelligent, broad-minded and sexy of course.

Psychologists say that honeymoon phase is the key phase where one builds up a good head of steam which would hopefully get him or her through all the other stages. The real term for it is “idealized positive transference.” Idealized, that’s easy – that’s your image of the perfect person for you. Positive, well that’s a very positive image; it’s all good things. Transference: you take that from inside of you and you put it onto the other person. This is when you see the person not for who they are but for who you really in your deepest dreams hope they will be.

Up until here, it is all about “McDreamy”. So what is next then? What would happen when the dream breaks? What will happen when you are confronted with reality? What will happen when all the greater questions of life come into picture? What will happen when you just get bored of playing Mister or Miss Perfect? Stay tuned to know more.

Signing off…